The need to feel special is at the core of the self-driven life. Though, each of us has a unique interpretation of what it means to feel special, we all entertain the internal notion that we are special and that the world revolves around us. Sort of like the world is a play, we are the superstars, and others are props or supporting actors at best. This delusion is inherent in the human condition and we are all participating in our one-man stage shows. However, there is one segment of the population that takes this to the extreme. It is among spiritual seekers that this compulsion to be supra-unique rears its head up to an extraordinary extent.
Throughout the change from a self-driven life to a Shen Life, the self continuously jumps in and takes control. Like an obsessive stage mom, the self takes credit for everything or spins situations to be personal to its self-image. For instance, during the transformation, there will be countless bio-energetic sensations or mystical experiences and deep insights with mind-blowing realizations, however, rather than allowing these experiences to pass, along with everything else that will change, the self jumps in and says to itself, “Look I am so special, these happened to ME.” The self doesn’t acknowledge that many people have these experiences; though, if it does realize that others are having them, it quickly validates its’ experiences as being more profound. It overly identifies with these experiences, and instead of breaking down the self-image, the energetic experiences reinforce the self-image’s feelings of superiority and supra-uniqueness.
If this tendency isn’t confronted, the self-image can begin to think, feel, and act as though it has been divinely appointed to change the world; thus begins the self-driven path to impose its spiritual, social, or political ideas onto the world. It’s inner mantra says, “what I have and who I am is so special—the rest of the world needs what I have.” The dilemma here is that the self hasn’t grown in its’ awareness and understanding to the point where the world is seen as it is – spiritual in nature. From this enlightened perspective, nothing needs to be changed. On the other hand, the self-image, high on its own mystical delusion, can’t grasp the idea that the less the self does, the more Spirit can do through it by inspiring others to awaken to the truth of their nature and the world’s true condition. Instead, it thinks it knows best, and moves forward in a frenzy of self-masturbation, pseudo-altruism, and messianic grandiosity. This is the highest expression of spiritual pride!
Just recognize, if the sentiment arises, “I need to do something to change or save the world,” then rest assured the self-image has taken over the experience. In Truth and Reality, nothing needs to be changed in this way; everything is as it is supposed to be. When we fully awaken to our spiritual nature and when we begin to see with the eyes of God, we’ll come to understand what the Old Testament communicated in, “that God cannot look upon sin.” When God looks out onto the world, God can only see himself or the many expressions of himself, which cannot be problematic. Therefore in God’s eyes there is no problem. All is well. On the contrary, the self-image sees nothing but problems and wishes to heal and change the world. In essence, the self-image projects it’s own internal drama onto the world and others. As we begin to see with the eyes of the Creator, then all of Creation is infected with what we see – perfection. Then, we understand that it is not by our efforts the world is changed, but by our divine vision. This internal revolution is the highest form of activism we can possibly engage in, and one that infects others similar to the way a virus does – subtle, but profound!
There comes a point when we no longer need to be recognized for our spiritual attainment and spiritualizing our self-image is seen for what it is – hiding behind a mask. You know what I am talking about – the slow, gliding walk, the puppy dog eyes of humbleness, the placid smile and the folded hands placed gently across the lap when seated or behind the back when walking, and let’s not forget the over engaging eye stare whose intention is to convey to others our deep spiritual attainment.
When we have come to the point where the “my” of spiritual attainment has lost its grip, then we settle into the Creative Flow of life. Then finally, we have made the shift into a sprit-driven life. We are not interested in gaining validation or respect of others. When we speak, we do so from the perspective of Spirit. We can say without selfishness that we are the One that we have been seeking – Spirit. When we speak as Spirit, then it doesn’t matter if people listen to us or not, because Spirit is speaking and Spirit is listening at the same time. Spirit speaks through us, as us, to us. If people hear it, then they did so by their own initiative and they were ready to hear, not because of anything we did or tried to convince them of. It is crucially important that we eradicate this tendency within us before it takes over the entire growth process, like a forest fire engulfs an entire ecosystem. Then we’ll truly “know” what it is to be special!
this last paragraph makes me laugh every time